The Millennial Problem

Colonel PK “ Royal” Mehrishi ( Retd )


Managing Human Resource (HR) has and will always remain a challenge. Humans are complex creatures with varied nuances in their social backgrounds, schooling /training, parental up- bringing, peer learning & of course in their personal choices. Over the years, managing Human Resource in Institutions, Industry and Corporations has become
increasingly difficult due to multiple factors of rapid urbanization, vacuous education system, I – me – myself syndrome, reduced attention span of individuals, self absorption and advent of technology.

The following factors will always remain the sine –qua-non of all Cadet selection procedures :-

 Trainability Factor
 Potential for Learning
 Spark for Leadership
 Team Dynamics
 Reaction to Authority
 Critical Thinking
 Solution Provider

Present times have thrown different challenges with regard to the millennials  (generation born after 1990) and their growing obsession with themselves, today’s
youth is tough to manage. The challenges broadly arise from :-
 Parenting
 Technology
 Poor Self Esteem
 Sense of Impatience
 Environment.

Present day parents seem to have forgotten the art of parenting. We easily cave in to the demands of our children. For every gadget /machine in the market there is a user manual but unfortunately a new born baby does not come with one. Parenting is about learning from elders in the family, devoting time, effort & energy in bringing up children, nurturing, learning anew & unlearning a few lessons of the past. Overall it’s going through the process of children growing up with the right values & training right before your very own eyes!!
It is a known fact, that today we all are slowly becoming slaves of technology. The time you text a message on WhatsApp there is anxiety to reach for the cell phone to see the response. Young people spend hours in front of the computer, busy on Facebook & Instagram. There is no time to actually engage in any meaningful conversation & learn social skills. Incidentally, receiving a positive response/ like on WhatsApp, releases a chemical called Dopamine ( as in smoking Cigarettes, consuming Alcohol &Gambling) which is highly addictive. Thus the results of prolonged sessions on Face book & trying to
wean away a teenager from this habit to sleep well & get up early, will lead to drug addict like withdrawal symptoms, like aggression, irritability, shouting & slanging matches & so on.

Poor Self Esteem
There is so much of information overload through the internet & social media that children with impressionable minds tend to get swayed & develop a false sense of “I know it all”. This superficial knowledge without the backing of practical learning & experience creates a feeling of over confidence & having figured out everything. When faced with real life situations they come a cropper, with little or no clue about the harsh
reality of existence. They also lack practical skills to cope with reality as a major part of their waking hours arebeing spent in virtual reality.
Sense of Impatience
We all are living in the times of instant gratification, pizza in 30 minutes, any content or movie released – instant booking of a theatre through Android phones or Netflix,
multiple channels for entertainment, Instagram, Tumblr, Facebook, WhatsApp, Internet. Food delivery through Zomato, Swiggy, on line shopping from Amazon, Flipkart, Ali Baba. There is an overall lack of patience & ease of living. Even relationships among young people are feeling this strain. Friends are not for keeps, as there is a much
lowered attention span, in this obsession with I-me-myself, long term relationships & feelings of love, respect & care are taking a beating.

Children are growing up in a fiercely competitive  environment. The seniors /elders have little or no time to groom & nurture the young generation. At the work place, immediately after on- boarding, a youngster is burdened with targets, appraisals, presentations & projects. The work place is slowly getting dehumanized with little or no social interaction, totally performance oriented, with little scope for mistakes or learning from them. This creates an environment of playing it safe, with zero scope for innovation or out of the box thinking. All of this creates stress thus the affinity & orientation to do drugs or imbibe alcohol. This generation does not have the social skill set to take the rough with the tumble as they have not been taught mechanisms to cope with stress.

The Way Forward
Suffice to say all is not lost, given the right training, nurturing, mentoring  good Leadership, this generation of millennials can achieve a lot & do wonders as they are tech savvy & generally more aware. What needs to be done by teachers , parents, bosses ,elders is to sensitize them & enforce certain rules :-

 Technology is here to serve us & not to enslave.

 No mobiles while eating/dining together.

 Restrict & lay down hours in front of the screen.

 Mandatory one hour of physical activity/sports/gym
every day.

 Sundays for social interaction with relatives, friends,
uncles, aunts, neighbours etc.

 Restrict time in front of TV, play indoor games like
chess, scrabble, pictionary etc with your children.

 Inculcate the reading habit in the younger

 Camping, trekking, life outdoors will make them
more aware & add depth to their social interactions.

 Allow them to make mistakes & learn.

 Ask for instant /junk food to be brought into the
house only once a week.

 Tell them about heartbreaks & requirement to move
on in Life.

 Ask them to take responsibility for their actions &
choices they make in Life.

We all are living in interesting times, if we are able to utilize, all that is available in a balanced way. A Lifestyle over dependent on technology will not only spell doom but destroy the fine fabric of human relations & be the cause of depression & ultimate destruction of young minds.



Colonel  PK  “Royal” Mehrishi ( Retd )

Do you know the combined current we carry in our body? Well let us get the basics straight, there are 50 trillion cells in our body. Each cell produces about 1.4 volts of electricity, though not much individually but let’s multiply 50 trillion x 1.4, that is about 70 trillion volts of electricity. Too much of electricity floating in our bodies!! This combines to make us alive & develop our perception. The genes we carry in our body are a blue print, nothing more. Are we reading the blue print or not reading it, this happens only by perception. It is perception that makes us aware of who we are & what we are doing. If we change our perception we are altering our mind & when the mind is altered our body biology also undergoes a change.

The Sea Squirt as an aquatic animal has two life forms- mobile & immobile. It begins life moving around on brightly coloured tentacle like structures. Once it attaches itself to a rock it begins to digest its brain as the organ becomes redundant in the immobile phase. If humans stop moving, there will be no contraction of different muscles, and then they would have found their rock, like spending their lives in front of a television, virtually immobile, humans might as well eat their brains. Living life requires movement & therefore brain activity, which is again based on perception. Movement is not only essential but it actually makes our brain smarter in a kind of evolutionary feedback mechanism.Perception is the organization, identification, and interpretation of sensory information in order to represent and understand the presented information, or the environment. It involves the use of all five senses.

Your state of mind is the most important factor in the outcome of your life. Negative emotions cause disease and Positive emotions are a crucial factor in recovery. Our thinking influences the moment by moment reproduction of cells in our body.  There is a constant two – way communication going on between our body and our brain. Recent research has found that not only does our brain    communicate with our cells but our cells also communicate with our brain and other parts of our body. Latest discovery by scientists also reveals that we think with more than just our brain, we think with our body as well. It is not inaccurate to look at our entire body as being part of the brain. Body’s incredible communication system involves our cell   receptors. Complete cells in our body can have millions of receptors on its face. The receptor molecules float on the cell’s oily outer membrane and have roots that reach deep inside the cell.  What a cell is up to at any moment is determined by which receptors are on its surface.


Other important functions in a cell are done by Peptides (are short chains of amino acids linked by amide bonds) In the human body, peptides are found in every cell and tissue and perform a wide range of essential functions. The type of peptide produced is determined by what we think & feel. The hypothalamus produces peptides that duplicate every emotion you experience, from anger, hate, sadness, frustration and depression to joy, enthusiasm and happiness. Peptides are channeled to the pituitary gland and then into the blood stream where they visit all fifty trillion cells in our body. The peptides dock onto the cells and create minute physiological changes that can translate to large changes in behavior, physical activity and mood. Whenever a new cell is produced it contains more receptors for whatever peptide it received that caused it to split. If cell received peptides produced by emotions of depression, the new cell will have more receptors for depression.

We rely on cell division for the reproduction, growth, repair and replacement of damaged, worn out or dead cells. Three hundred million cell divisions occur every minute to replace cells that die. Each day 2% of our blood cells die and are replaced by fresh ones. Every two months we have an entirely new blood supply. New cells are created according to what we think and feel. If you feel depressed for an hour you have produced 18 billion new cells that have more receptors calling out for depressed – type peptides and fewer calling out for feel good peptides. It is as if trillions of receptors are all cupping their little hands around mouths like tiny mega phones and  shouting “send us more depression”.


The human body is nothing but one vast receptor.  The more you engage in any type of emotion or behavior the greater your desire for it will become. This is true for anything, from depression and addictions of all kind to emotions like anger or happiness. It does not matter whether your craving is for        emotions like excitement, anger, depression, or joy or whether it is for the feelings you get from using addictive drugs or alcohol. Whatever you crave for is a result of your body & brain wanting and demanding it. A strong personal perception sustains us daily in everything we think and do. It gives us optimism and hope; it frees us from the tyranny of events. Everything that happens to us is because of our perception. Develop a winning perception by positive thoughts & auto suggestion to lead a healthy & remorse free life.



Mahabharata: The Journey from Self to Cosmic Vision

Mahabharata written by Rishi Ved Vyasa in 4th century BC is an epic of 2,00,000 verses written in Sanskrit. Iliad and Odyssey written by Homer has a total of 27,873 verses and is considered the longest poem ever written in the Western world. Not only is the Mahabharata the longest and the most detailed epic ever written in the world, it has universal lessons on all relationships and emotions that exist among us as humans.

After the manifestation of primordial energy everything came to be differentiated into quality, color and shape ( mool maya) thus began the basic instinct for self preservation and survival, giving rise to Swartha ( selfishness) In the Mahabharta all characters from Duryodhan to Draupadi, Drona and Shakuni are motivated to avenge perceived slights or insults and further their selfish interests and thoughts all the time, thus dwelling in the Swartha ( self + meaning) mode for their entire lifetime. Lord Shri Krishna while giving the teachings of Bhagwat Gita prior to the battle of Kurukshetra is primarily asking Arjuna to do Purushartha (Male/Human + Meaning) to do what is to be done in the prevailing circumstance.

In Hindu religion, Purushartha refers to the purpose or purpose of a human. The human should try to get “what”, the meaning of Life .Often for humans, the names of four duties have been given in the Vedas – Dharma (Obligations) Artha (Meaning), Kama (Work) and Moksha (Salvation). It is a call to duty which must be transcended to from Swartha, thus from focusing one’s energies from I –me-myself it becomes Us – we –them. The larger good dominates the thought process.The pursuit for human refinement does not end by transcending from Swartha to Purushartha. In the Bhagwat Gita ( 700 verses) four different paths to attain God head have been prescribed .Karma, Bhakti, Gyana & Raja Yoga.

Karma Yoga is the path of action and suits people with active temperaments. Performing actions selflessly –without thinking of success or reward – purifies the heart and reduces the ego. Karma Yoga is the best way to prepare oneself for meditation while doing one’s duty. Bhakti Yoga is the yoga of devotion and is perfect for people who are emotional by nature. Through prayer, worship and ritual, one comes to see the Divine as the embodiment of love. Chanting mantras is an essential part of Bhakti YogaGyana Yoga is the yoga of wisdom or knowledge it is most suitable for intellectual people. The philosophy of Vedanta teaches analytical self-inquiry into one’s own true nature, with the goal of recognizing the Supreme Self in oneself and in all beings. Raja Yoga is the science of controlling body and mind. The asanas (body postures) and pranayamas
(breathing exercises) from hatha yoga ( traditional yogic practices) are an integral part of
this yoga path. The main practice of Raja Yoga is silent meditation, where bodily and mental energies are gradually transformed into spiritual energy.

Thus Mahabharata and the Bhagwat Gita therein, is not only about individuals who were blinded in selfish pursuit of their own goals but a journey from Swartha to Purushartha   to Paramartha ( ultimate + meaning) Seeing all in one and one in all is the pursuit worth following. A fourth aspect often forgotten and not discussed is Darshanartha (refined view/ vision + meaning) after one has been through the process mentioned above, one will have a view point that will be in sync with nature and demands of society thus enriching and transforming everything around by elevated thought process and ability to take decisions and act accordingly. The true lesson of Mahabharata is  elevation of the soul from Swartha– Purushartha– Paramartha to Darshanartha.




Colonel PK  “Royal” Mehrishi ( Retd)




  1. Ever wondered about the difference between a doer & a quitter ? An athlete, a good leader, a great parent?? Why do some people accomplish their goals & others can’t??? Usually we give credit to talent. Smarter, sharper, faster are the adjectives used to describe or compare a person. There is more to the story than talent alone. In fact, when you start looking into it, your talent and your intelligence don’t play nearly as big of a role as you might think. Research studies have found that intelligence only accounts for 30% of your achievement and that’s at the extreme upper end.


  1. What makes a bigger impact than talent & intelligence is mental toughness ( grit ) Research is starting to reveal that your mental toughness or grit as they call it, plays a more important role than anything else for achieving your goals in health, business, and life. That’s good news because you can’t do much about the genes you were born with, but you can do a lot to develop mental toughness.

Developing Mental Toughness

  1. Given below are a few points to develop mental toughness :-
  • Be consistent in your approach, do not waver or change horses midstream, once you have decided on a well thought out course of action stick to it.
  • Going one month without missing a workout.
  • Going one week without eating processed or packaged food.
  • Delivering your work ahead of schedule for two days in a row.
  • Meditating every morning this week.
  • Grinding out one extra rep on each set at the gym today.
  • Calling one friend to catch up every Saturday this month.
  • Spending one hour doing something creative every evening this week.
  • Mental toughness is like a muscle. It needs to be worked to grow and develop. If you haven’t pushed yourself in thousands of small ways, of course you’ll wilt when things get really difficult.
  • Mental toughness is built through small wins. It’s the individual choices that we make on a daily basis that build our “mental toughness muscle.” We all want to be mentally tough.
  • Mental toughness isn’t about getting an incredible dose of inspiration or courage. It’s about building the daily habits that allow you to stick to a schedule and overcome challenges and distractions over and over and over again, its about habit, period.


5 Steps to a New You

   4. Given below are 5 steps to change & become a mentally tougher person (James Clear) :-



  1. No matter what strategies we discuss, no matter what goals we set our sights on, no matter what vision we have for ourselves and the people around us, none of it can become a reality without mental toughness, perseverance, and grit. When things get tough for most people, they find something easier to work on. When things get difficult for mentally tough people, they find a way to stay on schedule. There will always be extreme moments that require incredible bouts of courage, resilience, and grit but for 95% of the circumstances in life, toughness simply comes down to being more consistent than most people.


How to Negotiate From a Position of Weakness

I recently finished a course organized by Harvard Business School on “Negotiations and Deal Making”  at Mumbai. Some wonderful insights that came up during the discussions are :-

1. If your  Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA) is weak and you have less ground to maneuver do not give up.

2. It is a possibility  that the other side has the same problem ( weak BATNA) If not, then mapping & analysis of the other sides alternatives  can help you in deciding your course of action.

3. Romania after WW- I ( 1919) walked away with nearly double the size of its territory as part of war repatriation though it had the weakest BATNA but their delegation took a position that they were the best bet against the Bolsheviks who were rising in Russia.

4. At times, instead of  concentrating on your respective positions think about interests. A common interest can be found, instead of who is having more power.

5. Try to bring more value to the table in a negotiation/ settlement/ deal by being more creative & imaginative, every deal need not be who wins vs who loses but a win win for both the parties.

Negotiations & Deals are highly complex structured processes but it is not always a boxing match. Empathy will make you a better negotiator.

Jaipur : Smart City Ideas

Jaipur ; Smart City ( This article was written in 2016)
Colonel PK Royal – Mehrishi ( Retd)
Introduction :
According to census 2011, metropolitan Jaipur had a population of 36,46,590
with a ten yearly growth pegged at 27 %. In sheer numbers we will be as large as
Washington DC with a population of about 42 lacs by end 2019. The problems
confronting us are many but the concept of a fully functional smart city can
become the harbinger of hope & change for the betterment of our society & city
as a whole. Before we commence making Jaipur a smart city, the first step is to
have a city registry wherein all residents are accounted for. Floating population/
migrant workers need to have verifiable ID and declared place of residence with
the landlord registering the tenant at the nearest police station. Non compliance
should attract heavy financial penalties. Benefits can reach a target audience
only when the numbers are identified. In this case it is the whole city.
Definition: A city can be defined as ‘smart’ when investments in human and
social capital and traditional (transport) and modern (ICT) communication
infrastructure fuel sustainable economic development and a high quality of life,
with a wise management of natural resources, through participatory action and
engagement. Essentials for Jaipur as a smart city are:-
 Smart construction
 Energy efficiency
 Environment friendly
 Effective transportation
 Easy healthcare
 Quality education
 Strengthened IT & Communication
 Structural Planning
 Safety & security
 Tourism development
1. Smart Construction – of residential, commercial & institutional buildings.
Plans need to be made for making it mandatory to have systems of conservation
of environmental resources like electricity & water by effective installation of roof
top solar panels & water harvesting. This it self will lead to a saving of 30% of
water & 40% of reduction of supplied electricity usage. Buildings also need to be
quake resistant and merge with the overall aesthetics of the surrounding area
within the city. All external electricity connections can be made underground in a
phased manner. Renewable & clean energy will lead to sustainable growth &
lower the burden on the customer (end user)
2. Energy Efficiency – continuous electric supply, 24×7 in line with the objectives
of the 12th five year plan. Low cost meters & a transparent system will ensure
near zero theft /pilferage. While keeping the generation & transmission with the
Government, supply of electricity can also be planned to be brought in the ambit
of privatization.
3. Environment Friendly – recycling mechanisms & proper sanitation is a birth
right of every citizen. Solid waste management, house to house collection of
waste, clean & well swept streets & litter free public spaces is what Jaipur needs.
A Swacch Jaipur cess levied as a mandatory expense should be enforced
through individual electricity bills. ( eg ; Rs 100/- for a 100 Sq yd plot & so on for
residential premises, a different higher yardstick for public /commercial spaces &
lowered one for educational Institutions)
4. Effective Transportation – citizens should have easy access to
transportation within 800 meters of their dwellings. Transit time within city should
not be more than 30 -45 minutes. Vehicle licenses should only be given to
persons having the facility of parking /garaging. Driving license issuance should
be made stringent to have better traffic management. Green transportation is the
future to keep the city from choking in pollution. Metro rail, electric hybrid
vehicles, mono rails, cycles & cycle tracks are a key constituent of this exercise.
Up gradation & widening of roads/culverts /bridges within the city have to be
implemented on a war footing to avoid traffic snarls & road congestion.
5. Easy Health Care– is what keeps the city ticking; a specialized hospital for
every one lac of populace, a diagnostic centre for 50,000 & at least a dispensary
for 15,000 will make health care accessible to all. While allotting license for
opening of hospitals care should be exercised on mapping of existing hospitals
as per population density. Areas bereft of accessible specialist facility need to be
addressed first and allotted a license as per area. Insurance, & health care sector
should work together to make state – of – the –art facility available to the needy.
6. Quality Education – is the need of the hour to make global citizens. A
minimum of one school per lakh of population a college for 1.25 lac & at least
one technical, engineering & medical college for a 10 lac population should be
the norm. all educational Institutions should have accredit ion from a recognized
central agency. For all children studying from lower/upper KG upwards, there
should be classes for moral science, hygiene & sanitation & inculcating civic
sense as mandatory periods every day. (frequency of periods can be decided by
a governing body) our future will depend on these young citizens who will
implement these values & make the smart city concept sustainable.
7. Strengthening IT & Communication– technology should be able to replace
humans for mundane & repetitive work. Broadband connectivity & wi- fi
connections in the entire city should become a reality. An application for the
safety of women, CCTV cameras, sensors at road crossings and stringent
penalty for traffic light violations will have to be put in place. Enhanced use of
internet/LAN facility for downloading forms, submitting applications & move
towards paperless Government offices should become the aim. “Work efficiently
& Work smart” should become the ethos /working style.
8. Structural Planning – is to ensure that 95% of the population should have
convenient access to the workplace through ample private /public transport,
bicycles, walking etc. Shops/Malls, parks & primary schools need to be within
400 meters from the residences of citizens. Landscaping & specially designated
green areas need to be created to add to the “lungs” of the city. Affordable
housing can be created in Transit Oriented Development zones to help the
economically weaker sections and avoid the problem of slums. Additional sports
stadiums with full sports facilities can be planned per 5 lac population.
9. Safety &Security – a smart city will only be livable if it provides adequate
safety & security to its residents. Having a detailed city registry, work permits to
be organized by the contractor for floating /migrating labour population, domicile
status, linking of all police stations on line, better communication & well trained
police & SWAT teams to take on emergencies will complement the effort. A
comprehensive disaster relief plan (SOP) needs to be worked out and upgraded
every year.
10. Tourism Development – being a world renowned tourist destination, a lot
needs to be done on this front. A better International airport with quick & efficient
check – in / check- out procedures, more number of International flights, a better
bus stand & improved rail station are all part of this planning. Licensed taxi
drivers with GPS fitted cars & a dedicated tourist special police wing will add to
the confidence of the traveler / tourist. Tourist guides need to be profiled for
criminal cases / delinquent behavior so as to avoid embarrassment to the
industry. It is well known that tourism is a revenue earner & gainfully employs a
vast spectrum of the populace. Some monuments can be leased to a sponsor
who will pay for the upkeep & maintenance of its premises. Inner city is a
charming tourist hub, promenades, fountains, sit -outs with clear no vehicle
zones can allure the most cynical tourist. Well lit monuments, sightseeing by
night, sound & light shows, cultural programs can add to the charm of Jaipur.
A smart, functional & sustainable Jaipur city will require the active participation of
all stakeholders viz State Government, local bodies, teachers, colonizers, central
agencies, resident welfare associations, shop keepers associations and above all
each & every citizen. A dedicated local TV channel educating the people on the
smart city concept, articles in the print media, handouts, brochures and street
corner meetings to take people on board & have their willing co –operation in
achieving this as per time lines in the way forward.
Jai Hind

Tough Times : Inspirational One Liners

These Quotes are not mine !!

  1.  Even this shall pass.

     2. Tough times don’t last , tough guys do.

     3. When the going gets tough,the tough get going !!

     4. The best is yet to come.

     5. Revenge is a  dish, it’s best served when it is cold.

     6. If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.

     7. Problems are not stop signs,they are guidelines.

     8. Tough times don’t define you ,they refine you.

     9. When every ounce of your energy has been spent, remember there is some more.

    10. When you are slipping and the full length of the rope is over,tie a knot & hang on.

Transcendence = Happiness & Bliss

Any given situation has four attributes, yourself, the second force- a human, animal, antagonist etc, could be a friend, peer, senior or subordinate or on the other extreme a wild animal, the prevailing situation- either full of challenges, opportunities, misery, happiness, fear, hope, injury or loss of life and the fourth force – is the outcome, which will manifest after a time lapse, but is presently hidden in the time – space continuum.


In life & death situations it is reflex or instinct for survival that will take over the rational mind, forcing you in the “fight or flight mode”. In all other situations after you have put in your best, it is transcending the given circumstance that will help you overcome the perceived obstacle. We humans have an uncanny gift of imagination. No other species on planet earth can look forward in time and space and create a reality other than the existing one. This is the most marvelous tool in overcoming any situation life has to offer.

For example you are due for a promotion, your hard work, appraisals, presentations, giving up on holidays for your job etc all are clear in your mind’s eye, the days are tense & nights are spent tossing about in bed fearing the worst, what if, you do not make the cut ?There will be tremendous loss of face , your colleagues will snigger behind your back, you will not gain financially etc.


Your imagination can help; it is like placing a powerful multi dimensional camera to look at the other side of a high obstacle. The immediate view is, the outcome you fear the most & is not very favorable to you , the intermediate view is, you have moved on to a new job, location, have a new set of friends, your colleagues do not scheme & plot as much, you are happier than you were in your previous job. The far ground reveals a contended you , with a house of your own & your beautiful grandchildren playing with you & asking you questions regarding your world travel and so on. The view touching the horizon shows an elderly man with no malice, cheerful, with a self belief that you are still alive, healthy & kicking.

An altogether beautiful scenario!! each & every situation in life can be met head on with an in built factor of imagination. Should things happen to my liking well and good if not, then so what? My imagination will help me transcend the given situation and provide me methods to cope up. Why do you think the creator gave human beings the power of imagination?


It is given to us to make our world more beautiful & blissful, full of happiness, mirth & laughter. The paintings of  Vincent Van Gogh, Michael Angelo, Da Vinci, music of Pavrotti, Mozart, Beethoven, movies of Satyajit Ray, Ghatak, Guru Dutt, frescos & gargoyles in Italy, the grand architecture of France,  all are works of individual imagination put down on  celluloid, canvas, paper, marble or granite. If there was no imagination & creativity there would have been no air, sea or land travel. No planes to fly, no cruise liners for vacations, no cars to zip across states, no poems to read, no movies to view, no music to enjoy, in fact no variety in our food & life style. The earth would have been the dullest place to live. Imagination was given to humans to lead a better quality of life than the animals or lower order species on the planet.





How A Personality Check ( P-Check) Can Help You Win Deals & Negotiations ?

Some one rightly said that, to each person the World is the size of his own head. A limitation that stretches as far as Individual thinking & imagination extends.  To succeed in any venture it is essential to communicate your ideas.  Negotiations are a part of business deals. Negotiating a business deal is a complex process arrived at by being prepared. The more you rely on gut feel & spontaineity the more you are likely to fail.

Personality is defined as the characteristic set of behaviors, cognitions, and emotional patterns that evolve from biological and environmental factors. While there is no generally agreed upon definition of personality, most theories focus on motivation and psychological interactions with one’s environment.Human beings have a multi layered personality, more often than not what you see & observe are behavioral nuances acquired & being practiced to get along with the business at hand. What you see is not the entire Personality, as every one is putting his best foot forward.

Meeting some one for the first time for business is a Power game. The more you lose   yours the other gains. An ideal situation is to meet as equals. How this can be achieved is as follows :-

  • Read about the Company ( business of the person you are going to meet)
  • Understand what the business is all about.
  • Get as much information about the person you are going to meet for the business deal ( age, schooling ,college,parents,background,siblings, interests,peeves if any )
  • Even trivia will help,the more informed you are, the better armed you will feel.
  • Dress sharp & be well groomed for the occassion.
  • Shake hands firmly while looking the person in the eye. Repeat his introduction “Mr Kumar what a pleasure it is to meet you”.
  • If the meeting is at a common place, become territorial, put your car keys, mobile etc on the table in front of you.
  • If the meeting is in the Office of the person you are meeting ,do not occupy any territory except the seat /chair offered to you. Keep your hands off the table in your lap. Do not let the other person feel threatened,remember it is his space/office.
  •  Use humour as it is a powerful tool in today’s stressed work environment. Use self deprecating humour as it un- arms the other person. Practice makes it perfect.
  • If common curtesies of tea /coffee /green- tea have not been exchanged initially, wait to spring a surprise & ask for a glass of water mid way during the conversation.It helps in putting your opponent on the backfoot in the manners department.
  • Never ask for any personal preference for tea /coffee once the curtesy has not been extended. At a common place be the first mover to extend it.
  • Make notes,write down something, it shows you are diligent.
  • Practice making diagrams & annotating them, turn the page towards the opponent & ask for clarifications on the steps /process ( a neatly drawn line diagram at the spur of the moment will carry you far as it reflects clarity of thought)
  • While laughing  at a joke push your head back & expose your throat,it is a primitive gesture  of showing you are un- afraid. This will win you friends.
  • One way to remain in control is to converse in small sentences & draw response. Do not lose your audience by being long winded.
  • Smile often,use your hands effectively when required, in explaining some issue.
  • Sit upright ( not up- tight) with your shoulders square & chin up, for heavens sake do not slouch or slump in your seat.
  • Nod often if you agree ( every one likes a live feed back ), before voicing a disagreement lace it with ” could we view it differently“, ” I have one more option we can consider“, ” A thought just occured to me while we were discussing” & so on.
  • Your voice, its pitch, accent, cadence matters, it reflects on your schooling & educational background.
  • Read books as it will add depth to your conversational ability.


Lastly remember, 85 % of all Deals / Negotiations are based on Presentation, Personality & Projection ability & only 15 % on Technical skills