The Millennial Problem

Colonel PK “ Royal” Mehrishi ( Retd )


Managing Human Resource (HR) has and will always remain a challenge. Humans are complex creatures with varied nuances in their social backgrounds, schooling /training, parental up- bringing, peer learning & of course in their personal choices. Over the years, managing Human Resource in Institutions, Industry and Corporations has become
increasingly difficult due to multiple factors of rapid urbanization, vacuous education system, I – me – myself syndrome, reduced attention span of individuals, self absorption and advent of technology.

The following factors will always remain the sine –qua-non of all Cadet selection procedures :-

 Trainability Factor
 Potential for Learning
 Spark for Leadership
 Team Dynamics
 Reaction to Authority
 Critical Thinking
 Solution Provider

Present times have thrown different challenges with regard to the millennials  (generation born after 1990) and their growing obsession with themselves, today’s
youth is tough to manage. The challenges broadly arise from :-
 Parenting
 Technology
 Poor Self Esteem
 Sense of Impatience
 Environment.

Present day parents seem to have forgotten the art of parenting. We easily cave in to the demands of our children. For every gadget /machine in the market there is a user manual but unfortunately a new born baby does not come with one. Parenting is about learning from elders in the family, devoting time, effort & energy in bringing up children, nurturing, learning anew & unlearning a few lessons of the past. Overall it’s going through the process of children growing up with the right values & training right before your very own eyes!!
It is a known fact, that today we all are slowly becoming slaves of technology. The time you text a message on WhatsApp there is anxiety to reach for the cell phone to see the response. Young people spend hours in front of the computer, busy on Facebook & Instagram. There is no time to actually engage in any meaningful conversation & learn social skills. Incidentally, receiving a positive response/ like on WhatsApp, releases a chemical called Dopamine ( as in smoking Cigarettes, consuming Alcohol &Gambling) which is highly addictive. Thus the results of prolonged sessions on Face book & trying to
wean away a teenager from this habit to sleep well & get up early, will lead to drug addict like withdrawal symptoms, like aggression, irritability, shouting & slanging matches & so on.

Poor Self Esteem
There is so much of information overload through the internet & social media that children with impressionable minds tend to get swayed & develop a false sense of “I know it all”. This superficial knowledge without the backing of practical learning & experience creates a feeling of over confidence & having figured out everything. When faced with real life situations they come a cropper, with little or no clue about the harsh
reality of existence. They also lack practical skills to cope with reality as a major part of their waking hours arebeing spent in virtual reality.
Sense of Impatience
We all are living in the times of instant gratification, pizza in 30 minutes, any content or movie released – instant booking of a theatre through Android phones or Netflix,
multiple channels for entertainment, Instagram, Tumblr, Facebook, WhatsApp, Internet. Food delivery through Zomato, Swiggy, on line shopping from Amazon, Flipkart, Ali Baba. There is an overall lack of patience & ease of living. Even relationships among young people are feeling this strain. Friends are not for keeps, as there is a much
lowered attention span, in this obsession with I-me-myself, long term relationships & feelings of love, respect & care are taking a beating.

Children are growing up in a fiercely competitive  environment. The seniors /elders have little or no time to groom & nurture the young generation. At the work place, immediately after on- boarding, a youngster is burdened with targets, appraisals, presentations & projects. The work place is slowly getting dehumanized with little or no social interaction, totally performance oriented, with little scope for mistakes or learning from them. This creates an environment of playing it safe, with zero scope for innovation or out of the box thinking. All of this creates stress thus the affinity & orientation to do drugs or imbibe alcohol. This generation does not have the social skill set to take the rough with the tumble as they have not been taught mechanisms to cope with stress.

The Way Forward
Suffice to say all is not lost, given the right training, nurturing, mentoring  good Leadership, this generation of millennials can achieve a lot & do wonders as they are tech savvy & generally more aware. What needs to be done by teachers , parents, bosses ,elders is to sensitize them & enforce certain rules :-

 Technology is here to serve us & not to enslave.

 No mobiles while eating/dining together.

 Restrict & lay down hours in front of the screen.

 Mandatory one hour of physical activity/sports/gym
every day.

 Sundays for social interaction with relatives, friends,
uncles, aunts, neighbours etc.

 Restrict time in front of TV, play indoor games like
chess, scrabble, pictionary etc with your children.

 Inculcate the reading habit in the younger

 Camping, trekking, life outdoors will make them
more aware & add depth to their social interactions.

 Allow them to make mistakes & learn.

 Ask for instant /junk food to be brought into the
house only once a week.

 Tell them about heartbreaks & requirement to move
on in Life.

 Ask them to take responsibility for their actions &
choices they make in Life.

We all are living in interesting times, if we are able to utilize, all that is available in a balanced way. A Lifestyle over dependent on technology will not only spell doom but destroy the fine fabric of human relations & be the cause of depression & ultimate destruction of young minds.



Colonel  PK  “Royal” Mehrishi ( Retd )

Do you know the combined current we carry in our body? Well let us get the basics straight, there are 50 trillion cells in our body. Each cell produces about 1.4 volts of electricity, though not much individually but let’s multiply 50 trillion x 1.4, that is about 70 trillion volts of electricity. Too much of electricity floating in our bodies!! This combines to make us alive & develop our perception. The genes we carry in our body are a blue print, nothing more. Are we reading the blue print or not reading it, this happens only by perception. It is perception that makes us aware of who we are & what we are doing. If we change our perception we are altering our mind & when the mind is altered our body biology also undergoes a change.

The Sea Squirt as an aquatic animal has two life forms- mobile & immobile. It begins life moving around on brightly coloured tentacle like structures. Once it attaches itself to a rock it begins to digest its brain as the organ becomes redundant in the immobile phase. If humans stop moving, there will be no contraction of different muscles, and then they would have found their rock, like spending their lives in front of a television, virtually immobile, humans might as well eat their brains. Living life requires movement & therefore brain activity, which is again based on perception. Movement is not only essential but it actually makes our brain smarter in a kind of evolutionary feedback mechanism.Perception is the organization, identification, and interpretation of sensory information in order to represent and understand the presented information, or the environment. It involves the use of all five senses.

Your state of mind is the most important factor in the outcome of your life. Negative emotions cause disease and Positive emotions are a crucial factor in recovery. Our thinking influences the moment by moment reproduction of cells in our body.  There is a constant two – way communication going on between our body and our brain. Recent research has found that not only does our brain    communicate with our cells but our cells also communicate with our brain and other parts of our body. Latest discovery by scientists also reveals that we think with more than just our brain, we think with our body as well. It is not inaccurate to look at our entire body as being part of the brain. Body’s incredible communication system involves our cell   receptors. Complete cells in our body can have millions of receptors on its face. The receptor molecules float on the cell’s oily outer membrane and have roots that reach deep inside the cell.  What a cell is up to at any moment is determined by which receptors are on its surface.


Other important functions in a cell are done by Peptides (are short chains of amino acids linked by amide bonds) In the human body, peptides are found in every cell and tissue and perform a wide range of essential functions. The type of peptide produced is determined by what we think & feel. The hypothalamus produces peptides that duplicate every emotion you experience, from anger, hate, sadness, frustration and depression to joy, enthusiasm and happiness. Peptides are channeled to the pituitary gland and then into the blood stream where they visit all fifty trillion cells in our body. The peptides dock onto the cells and create minute physiological changes that can translate to large changes in behavior, physical activity and mood. Whenever a new cell is produced it contains more receptors for whatever peptide it received that caused it to split. If cell received peptides produced by emotions of depression, the new cell will have more receptors for depression.

We rely on cell division for the reproduction, growth, repair and replacement of damaged, worn out or dead cells. Three hundred million cell divisions occur every minute to replace cells that die. Each day 2% of our blood cells die and are replaced by fresh ones. Every two months we have an entirely new blood supply. New cells are created according to what we think and feel. If you feel depressed for an hour you have produced 18 billion new cells that have more receptors calling out for depressed – type peptides and fewer calling out for feel good peptides. It is as if trillions of receptors are all cupping their little hands around mouths like tiny mega phones and  shouting “send us more depression”.


The human body is nothing but one vast receptor.  The more you engage in any type of emotion or behavior the greater your desire for it will become. This is true for anything, from depression and addictions of all kind to emotions like anger or happiness. It does not matter whether your craving is for        emotions like excitement, anger, depression, or joy or whether it is for the feelings you get from using addictive drugs or alcohol. Whatever you crave for is a result of your body & brain wanting and demanding it. A strong personal perception sustains us daily in everything we think and do. It gives us optimism and hope; it frees us from the tyranny of events. Everything that happens to us is because of our perception. Develop a winning perception by positive thoughts & auto suggestion to lead a healthy & remorse free life.



Mahabharata: The Journey from Self to Cosmic Vision

Mahabharata written by Rishi Ved Vyasa in 4th century BC is an epic of 2,00,000 verses written in Sanskrit. Iliad and Odyssey written by Homer has a total of 27,873 verses and is considered the longest poem ever written in the Western world. Not only is the Mahabharata the longest and the most detailed epic ever written in the world, it has universal lessons on all relationships and emotions that exist among us as humans.

After the manifestation of primordial energy everything came to be differentiated into quality, color and shape ( mool maya) thus began the basic instinct for self preservation and survival, giving rise to Swartha ( selfishness) In the Mahabharta all characters from Duryodhan to Draupadi, Drona and Shakuni are motivated to avenge perceived slights or insults and further their selfish interests and thoughts all the time, thus dwelling in the Swartha ( self + meaning) mode for their entire lifetime. Lord Shri Krishna while giving the teachings of Bhagwat Gita prior to the battle of Kurukshetra is primarily asking Arjuna to do Purushartha (Male/Human + Meaning) to do what is to be done in the prevailing circumstance.

In Hindu religion, Purushartha refers to the purpose or purpose of a human. The human should try to get “what”, the meaning of Life .Often for humans, the names of four duties have been given in the Vedas – Dharma (Obligations) Artha (Meaning), Kama (Work) and Moksha (Salvation). It is a call to duty which must be transcended to from Swartha, thus from focusing one’s energies from I –me-myself it becomes Us – we –them. The larger good dominates the thought process.The pursuit for human refinement does not end by transcending from Swartha to Purushartha. In the Bhagwat Gita ( 700 verses) four different paths to attain God head have been prescribed .Karma, Bhakti, Gyana & Raja Yoga.

Karma Yoga is the path of action and suits people with active temperaments. Performing actions selflessly –without thinking of success or reward – purifies the heart and reduces the ego. Karma Yoga is the best way to prepare oneself for meditation while doing one’s duty. Bhakti Yoga is the yoga of devotion and is perfect for people who are emotional by nature. Through prayer, worship and ritual, one comes to see the Divine as the embodiment of love. Chanting mantras is an essential part of Bhakti YogaGyana Yoga is the yoga of wisdom or knowledge it is most suitable for intellectual people. The philosophy of Vedanta teaches analytical self-inquiry into one’s own true nature, with the goal of recognizing the Supreme Self in oneself and in all beings. Raja Yoga is the science of controlling body and mind. The asanas (body postures) and pranayamas
(breathing exercises) from hatha yoga ( traditional yogic practices) are an integral part of
this yoga path. The main practice of Raja Yoga is silent meditation, where bodily and mental energies are gradually transformed into spiritual energy.

Thus Mahabharata and the Bhagwat Gita therein, is not only about individuals who were blinded in selfish pursuit of their own goals but a journey from Swartha to Purushartha   to Paramartha ( ultimate + meaning) Seeing all in one and one in all is the pursuit worth following. A fourth aspect often forgotten and not discussed is Darshanartha (refined view/ vision + meaning) after one has been through the process mentioned above, one will have a view point that will be in sync with nature and demands of society thus enriching and transforming everything around by elevated thought process and ability to take decisions and act accordingly. The true lesson of Mahabharata is  elevation of the soul from Swartha– Purushartha– Paramartha to Darshanartha.




Colonel PK  “Royal” Mehrishi ( Retd)




  1. Ever wondered about the difference between a doer & a quitter ? An athlete, a good leader, a great parent?? Why do some people accomplish their goals & others can’t??? Usually we give credit to talent. Smarter, sharper, faster are the adjectives used to describe or compare a person. There is more to the story than talent alone. In fact, when you start looking into it, your talent and your intelligence don’t play nearly as big of a role as you might think. Research studies have found that intelligence only accounts for 30% of your achievement and that’s at the extreme upper end.


  1. What makes a bigger impact than talent & intelligence is mental toughness ( grit ) Research is starting to reveal that your mental toughness or grit as they call it, plays a more important role than anything else for achieving your goals in health, business, and life. That’s good news because you can’t do much about the genes you were born with, but you can do a lot to develop mental toughness.

Developing Mental Toughness

  1. Given below are a few points to develop mental toughness :-
  • Be consistent in your approach, do not waver or change horses midstream, once you have decided on a well thought out course of action stick to it.
  • Going one month without missing a workout.
  • Going one week without eating processed or packaged food.
  • Delivering your work ahead of schedule for two days in a row.
  • Meditating every morning this week.
  • Grinding out one extra rep on each set at the gym today.
  • Calling one friend to catch up every Saturday this month.
  • Spending one hour doing something creative every evening this week.
  • Mental toughness is like a muscle. It needs to be worked to grow and develop. If you haven’t pushed yourself in thousands of small ways, of course you’ll wilt when things get really difficult.
  • Mental toughness is built through small wins. It’s the individual choices that we make on a daily basis that build our “mental toughness muscle.” We all want to be mentally tough.
  • Mental toughness isn’t about getting an incredible dose of inspiration or courage. It’s about building the daily habits that allow you to stick to a schedule and overcome challenges and distractions over and over and over again, its about habit, period.


5 Steps to a New You

   4. Given below are 5 steps to change & become a mentally tougher person (James Clear) :-



  1. No matter what strategies we discuss, no matter what goals we set our sights on, no matter what vision we have for ourselves and the people around us, none of it can become a reality without mental toughness, perseverance, and grit. When things get tough for most people, they find something easier to work on. When things get difficult for mentally tough people, they find a way to stay on schedule. There will always be extreme moments that require incredible bouts of courage, resilience, and grit but for 95% of the circumstances in life, toughness simply comes down to being more consistent than most people.


How to Negotiate From a Position of Weakness

I recently finished a course organized by Harvard Business School on “Negotiations and Deal Making”  at Mumbai. Some wonderful insights that came up during the discussions are :-

1. If your  Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA) is weak and you have less ground to maneuver do not give up.

2. It is a possibility  that the other side has the same problem ( weak BATNA) If not, then mapping & analysis of the other sides alternatives  can help you in deciding your course of action.

3. Romania after WW- I ( 1919) walked away with nearly double the size of its territory as part of war repatriation though it had the weakest BATNA but their delegation took a position that they were the best bet against the Bolsheviks who were rising in Russia.

4. At times, instead of  concentrating on your respective positions think about interests. A common interest can be found, instead of who is having more power.

5. Try to bring more value to the table in a negotiation/ settlement/ deal by being more creative & imaginative, every deal need not be who wins vs who loses but a win win for both the parties.

Negotiations & Deals are highly complex structured processes but it is not always a boxing match. Empathy will make you a better negotiator.

Jaipur : Smart City Ideas

Jaipur ; Smart City ( This article was written in 2016)
Colonel PK Royal – Mehrishi ( Retd)
Introduction :
According to census 2011, metropolitan Jaipur had a population of 36,46,590
with a ten yearly growth pegged at 27 %. In sheer numbers we will be as large as
Washington DC with a population of about 42 lacs by end 2019. The problems
confronting us are many but the concept of a fully functional smart city can
become the harbinger of hope & change for the betterment of our society & city
as a whole. Before we commence making Jaipur a smart city, the first step is to
have a city registry wherein all residents are accounted for. Floating population/
migrant workers need to have verifiable ID and declared place of residence with
the landlord registering the tenant at the nearest police station. Non compliance
should attract heavy financial penalties. Benefits can reach a target audience
only when the numbers are identified. In this case it is the whole city.
Definition: A city can be defined as ‘smart’ when investments in human and
social capital and traditional (transport) and modern (ICT) communication
infrastructure fuel sustainable economic development and a high quality of life,
with a wise management of natural resources, through participatory action and
engagement. Essentials for Jaipur as a smart city are:-
 Smart construction
 Energy efficiency
 Environment friendly
 Effective transportation
 Easy healthcare
 Quality education
 Strengthened IT & Communication
 Structural Planning
 Safety & security
 Tourism development
1. Smart Construction – of residential, commercial & institutional buildings.
Plans need to be made for making it mandatory to have systems of conservation
of environmental resources like electricity & water by effective installation of roof
top solar panels & water harvesting. This it self will lead to a saving of 30% of
water & 40% of reduction of supplied electricity usage. Buildings also need to be
quake resistant and merge with the overall aesthetics of the surrounding area
within the city. All external electricity connections can be made underground in a
phased manner. Renewable & clean energy will lead to sustainable growth &
lower the burden on the customer (end user)
2. Energy Efficiency – continuous electric supply, 24×7 in line with the objectives
of the 12th five year plan. Low cost meters & a transparent system will ensure
near zero theft /pilferage. While keeping the generation & transmission with the
Government, supply of electricity can also be planned to be brought in the ambit
of privatization.
3. Environment Friendly – recycling mechanisms & proper sanitation is a birth
right of every citizen. Solid waste management, house to house collection of
waste, clean & well swept streets & litter free public spaces is what Jaipur needs.
A Swacch Jaipur cess levied as a mandatory expense should be enforced
through individual electricity bills. ( eg ; Rs 100/- for a 100 Sq yd plot & so on for
residential premises, a different higher yardstick for public /commercial spaces &
lowered one for educational Institutions)
4. Effective Transportation – citizens should have easy access to
transportation within 800 meters of their dwellings. Transit time within city should
not be more than 30 -45 minutes. Vehicle licenses should only be given to
persons having the facility of parking /garaging. Driving license issuance should
be made stringent to have better traffic management. Green transportation is the
future to keep the city from choking in pollution. Metro rail, electric hybrid
vehicles, mono rails, cycles & cycle tracks are a key constituent of this exercise.
Up gradation & widening of roads/culverts /bridges within the city have to be
implemented on a war footing to avoid traffic snarls & road congestion.
5. Easy Health Care– is what keeps the city ticking; a specialized hospital for
every one lac of populace, a diagnostic centre for 50,000 & at least a dispensary
for 15,000 will make health care accessible to all. While allotting license for
opening of hospitals care should be exercised on mapping of existing hospitals
as per population density. Areas bereft of accessible specialist facility need to be
addressed first and allotted a license as per area. Insurance, & health care sector
should work together to make state – of – the –art facility available to the needy.
6. Quality Education – is the need of the hour to make global citizens. A
minimum of one school per lakh of population a college for 1.25 lac & at least
one technical, engineering & medical college for a 10 lac population should be
the norm. all educational Institutions should have accredit ion from a recognized
central agency. For all children studying from lower/upper KG upwards, there
should be classes for moral science, hygiene & sanitation & inculcating civic
sense as mandatory periods every day. (frequency of periods can be decided by
a governing body) our future will depend on these young citizens who will
implement these values & make the smart city concept sustainable.
7. Strengthening IT & Communication– technology should be able to replace
humans for mundane & repetitive work. Broadband connectivity & wi- fi
connections in the entire city should become a reality. An application for the
safety of women, CCTV cameras, sensors at road crossings and stringent
penalty for traffic light violations will have to be put in place. Enhanced use of
internet/LAN facility for downloading forms, submitting applications & move
towards paperless Government offices should become the aim. “Work efficiently
& Work smart” should become the ethos /working style.
8. Structural Planning – is to ensure that 95% of the population should have
convenient access to the workplace through ample private /public transport,
bicycles, walking etc. Shops/Malls, parks & primary schools need to be within
400 meters from the residences of citizens. Landscaping & specially designated
green areas need to be created to add to the “lungs” of the city. Affordable
housing can be created in Transit Oriented Development zones to help the
economically weaker sections and avoid the problem of slums. Additional sports
stadiums with full sports facilities can be planned per 5 lac population.
9. Safety &Security – a smart city will only be livable if it provides adequate
safety & security to its residents. Having a detailed city registry, work permits to
be organized by the contractor for floating /migrating labour population, domicile
status, linking of all police stations on line, better communication & well trained
police & SWAT teams to take on emergencies will complement the effort. A
comprehensive disaster relief plan (SOP) needs to be worked out and upgraded
every year.
10. Tourism Development – being a world renowned tourist destination, a lot
needs to be done on this front. A better International airport with quick & efficient
check – in / check- out procedures, more number of International flights, a better
bus stand & improved rail station are all part of this planning. Licensed taxi
drivers with GPS fitted cars & a dedicated tourist special police wing will add to
the confidence of the traveler / tourist. Tourist guides need to be profiled for
criminal cases / delinquent behavior so as to avoid embarrassment to the
industry. It is well known that tourism is a revenue earner & gainfully employs a
vast spectrum of the populace. Some monuments can be leased to a sponsor
who will pay for the upkeep & maintenance of its premises. Inner city is a
charming tourist hub, promenades, fountains, sit -outs with clear no vehicle
zones can allure the most cynical tourist. Well lit monuments, sightseeing by
night, sound & light shows, cultural programs can add to the charm of Jaipur.
A smart, functional & sustainable Jaipur city will require the active participation of
all stakeholders viz State Government, local bodies, teachers, colonizers, central
agencies, resident welfare associations, shop keepers associations and above all
each & every citizen. A dedicated local TV channel educating the people on the
smart city concept, articles in the print media, handouts, brochures and street
corner meetings to take people on board & have their willing co –operation in
achieving this as per time lines in the way forward.
Jai Hind

Tough Times : Inspirational One Liners

These Quotes are not mine !!

  1.  Even this shall pass.

     2. Tough times don’t last , tough guys do.

     3. When the going gets tough,the tough get going !!

     4. The best is yet to come.

     5. Revenge is a  dish, it’s best served when it is cold.

     6. If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.

     7. Problems are not stop signs,they are guidelines.

     8. Tough times don’t define you ,they refine you.

     9. When every ounce of your energy has been spent, remember there is some more.

    10. When you are slipping and the full length of the rope is over,tie a knot & hang on.

Transcendence = Happiness & Bliss

Any given situation has four attributes, yourself, the second force- a human, animal, antagonist etc, could be a friend, peer, senior or subordinate or on the other extreme a wild animal, the prevailing situation- either full of challenges, opportunities, misery, happiness, fear, hope, injury or loss of life and the fourth force – is the outcome, which will manifest after a time lapse, but is presently hidden in the time – space continuum.


In life & death situations it is reflex or instinct for survival that will take over the rational mind, forcing you in the “fight or flight mode”. In all other situations after you have put in your best, it is transcending the given circumstance that will help you overcome the perceived obstacle. We humans have an uncanny gift of imagination. No other species on planet earth can look forward in time and space and create a reality other than the existing one. This is the most marvelous tool in overcoming any situation life has to offer.

For example you are due for a promotion, your hard work, appraisals, presentations, giving up on holidays for your job etc all are clear in your mind’s eye, the days are tense & nights are spent tossing about in bed fearing the worst, what if, you do not make the cut ?There will be tremendous loss of face , your colleagues will snigger behind your back, you will not gain financially etc.


Your imagination can help; it is like placing a powerful multi dimensional camera to look at the other side of a high obstacle. The immediate view is, the outcome you fear the most & is not very favorable to you , the intermediate view is, you have moved on to a new job, location, have a new set of friends, your colleagues do not scheme & plot as much, you are happier than you were in your previous job. The far ground reveals a contended you , with a house of your own & your beautiful grandchildren playing with you & asking you questions regarding your world travel and so on. The view touching the horizon shows an elderly man with no malice, cheerful, with a self belief that you are still alive, healthy & kicking.

An altogether beautiful scenario!! each & every situation in life can be met head on with an in built factor of imagination. Should things happen to my liking well and good if not, then so what? My imagination will help me transcend the given situation and provide me methods to cope up. Why do you think the creator gave human beings the power of imagination?


It is given to us to make our world more beautiful & blissful, full of happiness, mirth & laughter. The paintings of  Vincent Van Gogh, Michael Angelo, Da Vinci, music of Pavrotti, Mozart, Beethoven, movies of Satyajit Ray, Ghatak, Guru Dutt, frescos & gargoyles in Italy, the grand architecture of France,  all are works of individual imagination put down on  celluloid, canvas, paper, marble or granite. If there was no imagination & creativity there would have been no air, sea or land travel. No planes to fly, no cruise liners for vacations, no cars to zip across states, no poems to read, no movies to view, no music to enjoy, in fact no variety in our food & life style. The earth would have been the dullest place to live. Imagination was given to humans to lead a better quality of life than the animals or lower order species on the planet.





36 Learned Behavioral Skills:For A Lifetime Of Success !!

PART – 1



Image result for human body on a wheel

Almost all of us are trying to make  sense of the World around us. What is aggravating the situation is absence of coherence in our daily lives. While TV, Internet, Whatsapp, Twitter,Instagram,Tumblr,Snapchat are creating a situation of information overload.We have information available at our fingertips but at times are unable to process it to our advantage. To exacerbate this scenario we have poor eating habits,irregular sleep patterns, an urban culture of I – Me – Myself & lack of basic sensitivity to social issues. All of this combined is a ready recipe for disaster, like health issues & early burnout.

How can any normal ,sensible young man/woman, develop certain life uplifting skills & make the most out of his/her circumstances /station in life? We shall now be discussing these skills as under ( 6  : 12  :  18 ) :-

  • Body ( 6)
  • Mind ( 12)
  • Nobility of the Soul (18)


  1. Cardiovascular Fitness
  2. Upper Body Strength
  3. Lower body strength
  4. Personal Grooming ( Including Dressing)
  5. Oral Hygiene
  6. Diet /  Food Habits / Sleep


1.Basic Education

2. Self Study

3. Social Adaptability ( Manners & Etiquettes)

4. Reading

5. Writing

6. Listening

7. Speaking

8. Mathematical Ability

9. Positive Attitude

10. Additional Language Skills

11. Abstract Thinking ( Imagination )

12. Time Management

Nobility of the Soul

  1. Empathy
  2. Sense of Humour
  3. Trancesendence
  4. Will Power
  5. Musical ability
  6. Integrity
  7. Spirit of Adventure
  8. Sensitivity
  9. Spiritualism
  10. Helping Attitude
  11. Confidence
  12. Charm & Grace
  13. Travel
  14. Word of Honour
  15. Creative Ability
  16. Art /Culture/ Theatre/ Literature
  17. Care for the Elderly / Women /Children
  18. Character


Cardiovascular Fitness

  • Your heart , approximately the size of  your closed fist, is always working tirelessly (24 x 7), to supply blood to all of( approx one trillion cells in the body.
  • A twenty minute Run / Jog  as a daily routine to keep your heart healthy & lead an active Life.
  • Between ages 15-35 extendable to 40, vigorous sports like Basketball,Football, Field Hockey, Handball,Squash etc ( if facilities avilable) Cycling, Climbing Hills, Trekking, Swimming,Volleyball,Badminton & Tennis are also in.
  • Aim should be to increase the heart rate by 60% & induce sweating after an intense workout.


Upper Body Strength

  • Exercising the upper body ( arms/chest /back /waist) not only defines the body, it also supports the back & the skeletal system.
  • Upper body strength is required for completion of a wide variety of everyday chores.
  • Push-ups,Chin-ups,Rope climbing, Planks, Circuit Training,Yoga ( surya namaskar) are all helpful.
  • Good definition of upper body adds to the first impression of the Individual.


Lower Body Strength

  •  Lower body strength is required to avoid injuries & to define the muscles of the legs.
  • Proportionate waist,hip,thigh size is essential to come across as a person with a healthy lifestyle.
  • Brisk walking for atleast 5 kms a day,climbing stairs, weight training, gym , yoga,pilates,zumba ,squats all add to strengthening the lower body.
  • Since the entire weight of the body & skeletal system is borne by the legs it is always a good idea to start early.


Personal Grooming

  • In modern times with decreased attention spans,first impressions matter. What any body looks before starting a conversation is your appearance.
  • A good haircut,trimmed whiskers, well ironed clothes & matching footwear can help in carrying the day.
  • Trimming of nails & hygiene is important as paying less attention to these basics may be construed as neglect & uncaring attitude towards own self.
  • Dressing for the occassion matters, formal  / informal / casual / national etc.


Oral Hygiene

  • The most nelected part of personal grooming is many a times oral hygiene.
  •  Ever heard of Halitosis ( bad breath) can be because of a variety of reasons but imagine working in close confines with colleagues & the nuisance it will create.
  •  Brushing,Flossing, Scraping of tongue, Inter dental brushes, Mouth wash all can help in maintaining a good dental hygiene.
  • A good smile is a reinforcement of confidence in oneself & well cared for oral hygiene.


Diet / Food Habits / Sleep

  • We are what we eat, eating a healthy diet matters, eat a planned diet the whole week, you can cheat once a while on a week end.
  • Food habits & dietary preferences are also culture specific, The Mediterranean diet consists of plenty of fruits & olive oil. CVD cases are minimal along the Mediterranean coast. In Israel fruit platter is offered before commencing a meal, breads come later. A longitudinal Harvard Business School  study has found a direct correlation between food & intelligence. Many foods can help keep your brain healthy & boost IQ. Some foods, such as the fruits and vegetables in this list, as well as tea and coffee, have antioxidants that help protect your brain from damage. Others, such as nuts and seeds, contain nutrients that support memory and brain development.
  • All of us work according to an  in- built body clock called the circadian rhythm. This process automatically tells, our bodies when to sleep, rise & eat. These patterns once disturbed can lead to sleep deprivation & when accumulated over a period of time can lead to errors of judgment while doing tasks that require concentration like driving etc.





Adult human brain is about 2% of the persons body weight, but requires about 20% of the total oxygen supply to keep it functioning normally. We have about 86 billion neurons in our brain to process & transmit information. There are two hemispheres in the human brain, left & right. Left is for logic,analytical thinking,numbers,language skills whereas right is the creative side which includes expression,emotional intelligence, imagination,creativity etc. In each one of us either of the brain hemispheres is dominant.

Left vs. Right Brain











Basic Education

  • Basics matter,early education under the supervision of parents & school instructors is the basic grounding to lead a quality life.
  • Teachers need to arouse  curiousity in a child to explore & learn, as education is a life long process.
  • Good schooling matters to an extent but in a limited context, what matters in life are job specific skills learnt after schooling & their constant upgradation.
  • At the end of the day what matters is ability to communicate your ideas well & presentation skills ( includes how you come across, speaking, diction, expression, writing,coherence of thought process & so on)


Self  Study

  •  Consolidation of all learning is studying by self. Advanced learning is a lonely pursuit, no upgradation of knowledge is possible without self study.
  • Prioritising what material to study helps. Timing is also important, as it all depends on your lifestyle. Younger people with a routine that sees them more active at night will find that studying at night comes more naturally to them. If you’re an adult  (generally above  30) and re-entering study after a long time away, you’ll find that daytimes are far better suited as you are used to working or being active during the day.
  • The important factor for everyone is making sure you are getting enough sleep. So whether you’re a morning person or a night-owl, there’s nothing stopping you from taking on study in your own time and at your own pace right now.


Social Adaptability

  •  Humans belong to a society, group, community,tribe. Like any structure which has to be sustaining over a period of time ,there have to be broad rules of functioning.
  •  Social norms are also culture specific, in Japan it is customary to use the suffix “san” after a name. It would be appropriate to say Mr Suzuki san. Even the legendary Japanese bowing  to show respect is specific for certain people & occassions, like the 15 / 30 / 45 degree bow.
  • Learning & practicing good manners & etiquettes will make you a more rounded person with less rough edges.
  • Being alive & sensitive to prevelant social norms & adapting to these will make you more acceptable & wanted in the local milleu.



  • Is an art which has to be mastered for better learning & retention.
  •  Mentally visualize the happenings as you read along, except for abstract subjects,equations & formulas.
  • Read a page,stop for a while summarize the gist in your mind. For academic subjects, jot down the main points without looking at the text .
  • Information while reading, is stored in chunks ( normally 07 words or digits) initially into short term memory ( STM) & then on to long term memory ( LTM) How meticulously information after reading is stored in the mind is akin to a neat well organized library. Better the referencing & storage, better the retrieval of information at a later date.



  • You can only write well if you have a good vocabulary. There are approximately 171,476 words in the Oxford Dictionary. Remembering & being able to recall the meaning of even 45,000 – 50,000 words will give you a mastery over the language.
  • There are certain tools available to be able to write well, Oxford Dictionary ( even available on line for reference) Reverse Dictionary ( gives specific words for general ideas) a Thesaurus ( multiple words having the same meaning ) a good grammar book by Wren & Martin.
  • Don’t get disheartened when you get less marks or the rejection slip for  your writing. Each one of us faces this as we grow up. For many a budding writers the ratio of the written word vs rejection slips is skewed in favour of rejections.
  • Organize your writing first in your mind as to what you wish to convey. The written word is powerful. It magnifies the effect of the spoken word by ten times when it is put down in black & white.



  • First & foremost there is a difference between hearing & listening. Listening is hearing with attention.
  • While listening, pay attention to the phonetics,pronounciation,grammatical correctness as you assimilate the sounds of certain words for future use. This is the reason why good instructors & good schooling matter. Your accent & pronounciation is a dead give away about your educational background.
  • Advanced listening skills will give you the ability to break down long winded talks / lectures to a few crunch points,the gist of the talk so to say, as you retain the essentials & discard the non essentials.
  • A good listener is the most wanted person in a gathering because  nearly everyone has a story to communicate.



  • First & foremost get over stage fright,easier said than done!! never lose an opportunity to get up & speak.
  • One step at a time, get up in class to answer questions, volunteer to get up on stage to prticipate in debates, declamations,quiz competetions,dramatics etc
  • Prepare, preparation is the key to confidence. Record your voice & observe its pitch, cadence, flow, variations & intonation.
  •  Good presenations & public speaking require skills which have to be mastered over a period of time.


Mathematical Ability

  •  Mathematics is the most abstract subject. It is also a subject that makes you methodical & systematic & happens to be  the most widely used subject in the world. There is a bit of maths in everything &  in all Careers/ Jobs.
  • Mathematics makes our life orderly and prevents chaos. Certain qualities that are nurtured by mathematics are power of reasoning, creativity, abstract or spatial thinking, critical thinking, problem-solving ability and even effective communication skills.
  • In Israel pregnant mother’s in the third trimester carry books to solve mathematical puzzles & quizzes with a firm research backing them that, listening to music & solving maths problems leads to the children being born with higher IQ.
  •  Also helps in deductive & inductive reasoning.


Positive Attitude

  • positive attitude helps you cope more easily with the daily ups & downs of life. It brings optimism into your life, and makes it easier to avoid worries and negative thinking. If you adopt it as a way of life, it would bring constructive changes into your life, and make you happier, brighter and more successful.
  • Positive mindset helps you to seek happiness, health and a happy ending regardless of the situation. Lots of successful people have recognized  positivity as the key to success. Power of positivity may change your personal and professional life. Thus, in  tough situations, people ask you to think positive.
  • Positive thinking is a mental attitude in wich you expect good and favorable results. In other words, positive thinking is the process of creating thoughts that create and transform energy into reality.
  • It is also the gateway to better health, fun filled life & laughter & attracting friends & good people around you.


Additional Language Skills

  • Physiological studies have found that speaking two or more languages is a great asset to the cognitive process. The brains of bilingual people operate differently than single language speakers, and these differences offer several mental benefits.
  • Students who study foreign languages tend to score better on standardised tests than their monolingual peers, particularly in the categories of maths, reading, and vocabulary.
  • While dealing /negotiating, communicating nothing attracts more, than you speaking the language of your client. It exhibits courtesy & effort on your part.
  • It also builds multi tasking skills & you stave off Alziemer & Dementia.


Abstract Thinking ( Imagination)

  • Abstract thinking is the ability to think about objects, principles, and ideas that are not physically present. It is related to symbolic thinking, which uses the substitution of a symbol for an object or idea. A variety of everyday behaviors constitute abstract thinking.
  • Abstract thinking is a level of thinking about things that is removed from the facts of the “here and now”, and from specific examples of the things or concepts being thought about. … Thus, for example, a concrete thinker can think about this particular dog; a more abstract thinker can think about dogs in general.
  • Abstract ideas are concepts that need to be visualized, as they cannot be illustrated through concrete (real) examples. In a simple way, explaining the progression of logic in a (computer) program will be possible only if the reader can correctly visualize (imagine) it in his mind.
  • Innovation & research is based on the power of abstract thinking,unless we develop this, cutting edge new & innovative technologies will elude us.


Time Management

  • What needs to be clearly understood is that time is a precious resource. It must never be aimlessly frittered away.
  • Time management is the process of organizing and planning how to divide your time between specific activities. Good time management enables you to work smarter – not harder – so that you get more done in less time, even when time is tight and pressures are high.
  • Prioritizing is an effctive time management skill,decide between what is important or urgent. Every issue may not be both.
  • Good time management allows you to accomplish more in a shorter period of time, which leads to more free time, which lets you take advantage of learning opportunities, lowers your stress, and helps you focus, which leads to more career success. Each benefit of time management improves another aspect of your life.



 PART -3 



Image result for transmigration of the soul
I am using the term Soul ( Conscience) to impart a higher meaning to the internal dialogue that takes place in every human mind as part of his conciousness or the state of being awake & realizing his own existence. Humans will not be what they are unless there is moderation or tempering by an awakened conscience. The fulfilment & richness to existence comes because of certain qualities that differentiate us from lower order of existence like other mammals.
  • To be able to visualize & feel the pain or the situation of others is empathy.
  • Empathy is the experience of understanding another person’s thoughts, feelings, and condition from their point of view, rather than from your own. You can imagine yourself in their place in order to understand what they are feeling or experiencing.
  • Humans can understand & convey emotions, empathy is a refined human feeling that brings you close to what the other person is experiencing.
  • Without empathy this world would be a very bitter & lonely place to exist.


Sense of Humour

  • Laughter is infectious, the surest way to ease a tense situation is humour. The best in the category, is always self deprecating humour. Punches pulled on oneself.
  • Twist of phrase, irony, tongue in cheek, wit, double -entendre are all variations of humour. Practicising & using humour is a fine art, it should never be put on or contrived.
  • Humour will always win you more friends than the longest speech or verbose sermons.
  • A daily dose of laughter & the ability to see the lighter side of Life will keep you destressed & full of enthusiasm to face the daily challenges of Life.



  • To rise over the limit or restrictive aspect of a situation will always come in handy in pursuing Life & its many ups & downs.  “Bad times don’t last, Good guys do“.
  • A healthy philosophical take on life like “Even this shall Pass” can do wonders to your morale.
  • Some situations warrant transcendence,unless you do it  ,you are stuck in a rut & continue to reinforce failure or negative thoughts.
  • Some people or situations drain your energy by their constant heckling / nagging getting over this by your ingenuity or inner strength is transcendence.


Will Power

  • Unwavering  firmness of action,toughness,resoluteness in face of odds.
  • It is a source you self create & a source you draw from. Sticking to a routine,ability to go it alone, fasting, giving up cravings , free salt & sugar days, can all add to strengthening your will power.
  • When push comes to shove,in your tough times, your will power can carry you through adversity & make you emerge victorious.
  • Willpower has been termed ‘the greatest human strength’, and rightly so, as it is the factor behind every single noteworthy human achievement down the centuries! With willpower, the impossible can be made possible, without this all important quality, everything you have worked for can be lost in an instant. By harnessing your willpower, and exercising self control and practical wisdom, you can work toward your personal and professional goals and truly enjoy the quality of life that you deserve.


Musical Ability

  • Someone rightly said that music is food for the soul. More Than Just Music. Research has found that learning music facilitates learning other subjects and enhances skills that children inevitably use in other areas.
  • Students who have early musical training will develop the areas of the brain related to language and reasoning. The left side of the brain is better developed with music, and songs can help imprint information on young minds.
  • Students who practice with musical instruments can improve their hand-eye coordination. Just like playing sports, children can develop motor skills when playing music.
  • Students who have experience with music performance or appreciation score higher on the SAT. One report indicates 63 points higher on verbal and 44 points higher on math for students in music appreciation courses.
  • Introducing music in the early childhood years can help foster a positive attitude toward learning and curiosity. Artistic education develops the whole brain and develops a child’s imagination.



  • Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles, or moral uprightness. It is a personal choice to hold one’s self to consistent standards
  • In the external environment,people only deal with persons who are skillful & who they can trust,Integrity is a a personal ,consistent standard of upright ness which builds trust.
  •  The word integrity evolved from the Latin adjective integer,  In this context, integrity is the inner sense of “wholeness” deriving from qualities such as honesty and consistency of character.
  • An individual’s value system provides a framework within which the individual acts in ways which are consistent and expected. Integrity can be seen as the state or condition of having such a framework, and acting congruently within the given framework.


Spirit of Adventure

  • Life is a journey, to be explored with a spirit of adventure.
  • Look for newer & varied experiences to enrich yourself.
  • An adventurous spirit isn’t about only travel. The same spirit of adventure can present itself in what you eat, what you wear, how you style your hair, how you romance your partner.
  •  It is also in trying new restaurants, making new friends, or doing anything that takes you out of your placid, humdrum, perhaps monotonous comfort zone.
  • It is about bringing that spark back into Life.



  • Degree of awareness and responsiveness to internal and external changes, challenges, or demands.
  • It is response to the environment either physical or emotional.
  • Unless you are sensitive,you can never enjoy the rich tapestry of emotions.
  • Over sensitivity can cause harm, the right degree,controlled by your cognitive process can enrich your Life.



  • We all are born into a religion, aim should be to expand our frontiers of spiritual experiences, this can happen by studying , absorbing & practising the good points of other faiths as well.
  • Spiritual but not religious also known as spiritual but not affiliated is a popular phrase and initialism used to self-identify a life stance of spirituality that takes issue with organized religion as the sole or most valuable means of furthering spiritual growth.
  • Being a spiritual person is synonymous with being a person whose highest priority is to be loving to yourself and others. A spiritual person cares about people, animals and the planet. A spiritual person knows that we are all One, and consciously attempts to honor this Oneness. A spiritual person is a kind person.
  • It is different from being a practioner of a religion, as sprituality is removed from dogma, rituals & the holy book.
  • Spiritualism is the notion, shared by a wide variety of systems of thought, that there is an immaterial reality that cannot be perceived by the senses.

Helping Attitude

  • Unless you develop this , the fullness of Life’s experiences will pass you by.
  • People you meet, interact , work with, have elephantine memories. It is a misnomer that everyone is selfish. Nobody forgets a favour or a good deed done unto them.
  • With an attitude to help, you endear yourself even to strangers, Life comes full circle, you never know when & how your karma will play out.
  • Never be calculative & seek instant results for being helpful,it is the word of mouth by others combined with winnable qualities of head & heart that will lead you to experiences that you never even imagined could be possible.



  • Confidence can be described as a belief in one’s self and one’s ability to succeed.
  • Self-confidence is having confidence in one’s self. Arrogance or hubris in this comparison is having unmerited confidence – believing something or someone is capable or correct
  • when they are not. Overconfidence or presumptuousness is excessive belief in someone (or something) succeeding, without any regard for failure.
  • Confidentpeople inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their c
  •  ustomers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.
  •  Exhibition of lack of confidence by a leader in critical situations can lead to paralysis of action by his team /subordinates.


Charm & Grace

  •  A pronounced ability to attract others.
  •  It is that X factor that will increase your winnability potential. All other qualities being equal it will be charm & grace that will give you a head start over others.
  • It is a package how you come across /present yourself. Wit & humour do matter, good dressing, manners, grooming, pitch of your voice while speaking, content, ability to connect all add up.
  • Grace is ability to absorb disappointments & not make a public display of being wronged. Life is not always fair,there are times when the less talented pips you to the post for a promotion, be large hearted & magnanimous, clap for him,swallow set backs with a smile.



  • “The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.”  Travelling can teach you more than any university course. You learn about the culture of the country you visit. If you talk to locals, you will likely learn about their thinking, habits, traditions and history as well.
  • You will be able to observe how you react in completely new situations. You will test your language, orientational and social skills. You will not be the same person after returning home.
  • During travelling you will meet people that are very different from you. If you travel enough, you will learn to accept and appreciate these differences. Traveling makes you more open and accepting.
  • Some of my most cherished memories are from the times when I was travelling. If you travel, you can experience things that you could never experience at home. You may see beautiful places and landscapes that do not exist where you live. You may meet people that will change your life, and your thinking. You may try activities that you have never tried before.


Word of Honour

  • There was a time when keeping your word held special significance. … Every time you give your word, you’re putting your honor on the line. You’re implying that others can place their trust in you because you value integrity and would never let them down.
  • A Harvard Business Study indicates that all human transactions including mega business deals are based on two important factors, Skills & Trust. Skills can be developed by studies & training but trust is a reputation that preceedes you, constantly speaking sensibly, giving a committment & sticking to it, punctuality, professionalism all add to developing trust.
  • A “word of honour” for a trustworthy person is like a blank signed cheque, no matter the circumstance it will always be honoured.
  • A word of honour should never be given frivolously, it is always to be given in a well thought out ,premediated, planned manner.Since it is important, you will have to remember the date,time ,event & circumstances under which you offered it.


Creative Ability

  •  Having the ability or power to create. It is characterized by originality of thought or inventiveness; having or showing imagination, a creative mind. It is also  tending to stimulate the imagination or invention.
  • To be really successful you cannot be “run of the mill”, it is this ability that will keep you enthused & going places.
  • Creation is at the base of all existence & renewal. We are what we are, because of evolution,invention,learning & change.
  • A creative mind is the engine which takes a living generation to unexplored frontiers of thought & inventions.
  • Start small, but create someting new or unique !!


Art / Culture / Theatre / Literature

  •  Architecture, Sculpture, Painting, Music, Poetry, Dance, Performing, are the seven arts which you can indulge in to express yourself.
  • Ability to appreciate or perform any art form, gives an added dimension to your overall personality as these from times immemorial have been part of human DNA.
  • Culture plays an important role in the development of any nation. It represents a set of shared attitudes, values, goals and practices. Culture and creativity manifest themselves in almost all economic, social and other activities. A country as diverse as India is symbolized by the plurality of its culture.India has one of the world’s largest collections of songs, music, dance, theatre, folk traditions, performing arts, rites and rituals, paintings and writings that are known.
  • The most non controversial subject in any gathering is to discuss literature & the authors /works that you like. It will never really offend anybody as these are personal choices & individual personality oriented tastes.


Care for the Elderly /  Women / Children

  •  Old age is a sensitive phase; elderly people need care and comfort to lead a healthy life without worries and anxiety. Lack of awareness regarding the changing behavioral patterns in elderly people at home leads to abuse of them by their kin.
  • Women & Children deserve special handling & respect as too much clamour for gender equality has skewed the debate. A woman needs to be treated as an equal in terms of opportunity & in the job space, but treated with care & utmost respect in social space.
  • A nation is known by the care & respect shown to the three mentioned above, as all of them merit our undivided attention. They some way or the other, in some form as parents,wives,sisters,children,friends  form a safety net & support group to help normalise our existence.
  • Sensitivity in handling either or all of them will enhance your aura, make you more acceptable & add to your positivity & likeability.



  • Someone rightly said ” character is nothing but habits long continued”.
  •  Character applies to the aggregate of moral qualities by which a person is judged apart from intelligence, competence, or special talents. strength of character applies to an aggregate of qualities that distinguish one as a person.
  • Inculcate all the a/m skills & practice them to become a person with distinctive character traits.
  • In truth, character is what a person is; reputation is what he is supposed to be. Character is in himself, reputation is in the minds of othersCharacter is injured by temptations, and by wrongdoing; reputation by slanders, and libels.